“All marriages are happy; it is the living together afterward that causes all the trouble”
Divorce and separation have become so common in this modern world that it is causing a great deal of concern across the world. The alarm bells are being sounded by marriage counselors, lawyers involved in divorce proceedings, and social workers who assist married couples in planning a family are reporting that boredom, loneliness, and discontent are spreading like wild fire among husbands and wives who are working and making a living in the cities. These men and women are swayed by temptations, anxieties, financial woes, and doubts about their marriage that keep crossing their minds.
The modern day marriage has become something less than ideal, and people are reluctant to enter into marriage. If we attempt to find ‘why it became less than ideal’, we will never find it. However, there are certain things that will assist us to understand why most of the time matrimony is not perfect and simply not practical for many people, especially for those who rush into it.
While growing up, we as kids were taught to love – our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters — and, after we grew up and become more mature, we were expected to become sexual partners and live a life of adjustment according to it.This aspect of life – sexual aspect – takes a long time to learn, understand, and adjust. Though we are matured physically, adjusting as sexual partners will take time. This the reason why there is boredom, discontent, and other sexual problems that go with it, causing marriage to break down. But, not all the troubles arise only from sex; there are other factors like the religion and law, taking care of family needs – education, food, future, etc.
Even with boredom and discontent, many couples are still staying together for the sake of children. This causes more trouble for their marriage, and their children who witness growing alienation between their parents invite many troubles for themselves. This sort of fragile happiness for the sake of children is sure to crumble and fall apart.
Marriage brings together people and puts them to test their ideal virtues; this test can make or mar their marriage forever. But, for those who want their marriage to work, they have to work towards unifying their personalities and become as one being – much like a single person.
Another element that plays the most major role is ‘faithfulness’. Remaining faithful to one’s spouse is difficult, and many spouses cheat and remain unfaithful at times; this is the price we have to pay if we want to remain in marriage. Unfaithfulness is the one cause of divorce and separation today.
In order to have a happy marriage, there are certain things we have to work on and follow, or else it is bound to fail. Talk to each other all the time; build trust to avoid suspicions; don’t use the ‘D’ word, when things go wrong; exercise forgiveness and give a second chance.
Happiness in marriage is the key for stability, and thankfully, majority of married couples say they are happily married; it is a good sign even though divorce is easily available. Marriage is the way forward in finding sexual fulfillment and happiness. Considering all the above-mentioned points, I believe marriage has not become old-fashioned.